The phone was ringing so early. It was about 6 am. I didn't get it in time before the answering machine picked up. When I looked at caller ID, it was my parents. So I called them back & they didn't pick up. They were already on the other line talking to someone else. It was only a minute before they called me back. I went in to Sophie's room, she was in my bed because I didn't want to wake anyone up. My mom said "Angela, Blake died last night." She told me the little she knew about it. He had come home from a Young Men's Youth activity. They had played laser tag. He talked to my brother, Ken (his dad) and his mom, Gina, for a minute and then went down to go to bed. He needed to wake up early in the mornings for school. About 45 minutes later their little dog, Cocoa, kept barking so Ken went to make sure everything was locked up. Gina thought maybe their was a burglar in the house since Cocoa wouldn't be quite.
When Ken went in the basement to he saw a light on and when he rounded the corner to Blake's room. He was laying on the floor. Ken screamed to Gina to call 911 and then Ken yelled to Brandon, 15 yrs old, in the other room to come help him. They gave him mouth to mouth and CPR until the ambulance came. They were never able to get his heart to start beating again. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.
So my parents had gotten their call around midnight and had waited until early morning to call me and my sisters and brother. My parents were driving from Idaho to Ken and Gina's as they called us.
I went and woke up Jimmy quietly so Sophie wouldn't wake up. We sat on Sophie's bed and cried. We decided not to tell Conner and Kali until after they came home from school. I didn't know how I was going to tell them their cousin had died.
After we got them off to school and Sophie and Scotty at a neighbors to be watched, we went to Ken and Gina's. It still didn't seem real. How could this have happened?
That night, Pleasant Grove High School had a candlelight vigil. Blake was a senior there. There was a huge crowd paying tribute to him. (the picture below is of Ken (Blake's dad) and Brandon embracing at the vigil)
The next days were filled with tears and planning. I got to work on a video of Blake's life for the viewing at the mortuary. I sat at a computer with Blake's best friend, Aaron, who also made a video and we went through thousands of pictures. It was therapy for me. I loved seeing all the pictures of him and his smiling face. He had a full and good life. His parents had taken him to experience a lot of the world for someone who was just 17.
Months later, we found out that Blake died of his heart beating out of rhythm and that caused cardiac arrest. He was a strong, healthy, active young man but they think he had probably had some cases of this happening before in a smaller degree.
Yesterday was a year from the night he died (late at night). We met at the Mt Timpanogas Temple late in the morning and went through a temple session with my family and a few close friends. Ken went through for Blake. It was a tender, spiritual experience.
We got together for soup and salads in the evening with Gina's and our family. Gina read a children's picture book to us called, Wherever You Are my love will find you. She gave a copy of the book to each family. Inside the book was a scrapbook page they made of pictures of what Blake loved to do
and a photo of the pallbearers from the graveside services on the day of his funeral.
On the left side 4 back, was little Brigham (11 yr. old then) who is too small to be seen. His other brother, Brandon, is in the back. This picture is worth 1,000 words to me.
Gina had also written a poem for Blake a few days ago. She emailed it to me and I put it together with a picture of him. I printed a 4x6 copy for everyone that came to the cemetery and then I made a 12x12 for Ken and Gina.
Then we went over to the cemetery. Ken & Gina had invited Blake's friends and the youth of their ward. They had white balloons for everyone to sign with sharpies, hot chocolate, and donuts. While we went to the temple, Kali had babysat her three cousins, Scotty and Sophie. She helped them all write a note and color a picture for Blake to put on his grave.
We sang a Child's Prayer
Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer ev'ry child's prayer?
Some say that heaven is far away,
But I feel it close around me as I pray.
Heavenly Father, I remember now
Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:
"Suffer the children to come to me."
Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.
Pray, he is there. Speak, he is list'ning.
You are his child; His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer; He loves the children.
Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav'n.
Then we sang I Feel My Saviors Love
| 1. I feel my Savior’s love In all the world around me. His Spirit warms my soul Through ev’rything I see. 2. I feel my Savior’s love; Its gentleness enfolds me, And when I kneel to pray, My heart is filled with peace. 3. I feel my Savior’s love And know that he will bless me. I offer him my heart; My shepherd he will be. 4. I’ll share my Savior’s love By serving others freely. In serving I am blessed. In giving I receive. Chorus He knows I will follow him, Give all my life to him. I feel my Savior’s love, The love he freely gives me. |
Then Gina had Brandon (16), Brigham (12), and Emma (10) come up. They had signed a yellow balloon instead of white. Then we all let our balloons go. Some of the kids had flashlights that they were shining on the balloons as they went up and it made them look like they had lights inside them. The moon was a crescent shape and it was reflecting off of the balloons as they disappeared into the night sky.
Blake was an amazing guitar player. This year his brother, Brandon, started taking lessons. My brother, Ryan and Brandon changed the words to a Pink Floyd song, played guitars and sang last night. It was so touching. I'm sure Blake is so proud of his little brother. They were so close and Brandon misses him so much. And I am so thankful to my brother, Ryan, for spending lots of time with Brandon. I bet it's healing for both of them.
Then we shared memories of Blake. A friend had written a rap for him, it had neat words. I'd like to get them from him. Another girl was an artist and had pencil sketched a picture of Blake and then made a collage of the things he loved. That was amazing. She had framed it for Ken & Gina and then also gave them the smaller original. Other family members and friends shared stories. Steph and Camile (my sisters) did a cheer that spelled Blake's name that we used to do when he was younger. That was fun. His young men's advisor had spent the last night with Blake playing laser tag. He told a funny story about Blake from that night. It was neat hearing what people had to say.
When we came home we put the little two to bed and then let Conner and Kali stay up for a bit. Conner said he was scared because it was about the same time Blake had died. So he came into our room and we laid in bed and talked about the past year. He recalled how he didn't cry when I first told him about Blake. But then when I told Kali he was sitting on the couch with Jimmy and he broke down. He was only supposed to be in bed with me until Jimmy came to bed but then Jimmy saw on the news that a 13 yr old boy died yesterday in S. Jordan when he was hit by a car crossing the street on the way to school. So Jimmy came to bed and cuddled with Conner all night.
It was a emotional day yesterday that had a healing effect on me. Ken and Gina planned a very special day for us all. I am grateful for families and for my knowledge that families can be together forever. I love and miss you, Blake!
This year we went to St. George for Thanksgiving. Jimmy's parents moved there this summer and I think we will enjoy getting out of the cold for visits during the winter. Although, it wasn't too cold here either.
